It is commonly said that children grow differently depending on their rearing environment. It is often believed that children who grow in a single parent family, or a family under
the influence of violence will have problems. Such views come from the trend that blames circumstances and the society for problems of parenting and children’s psychology.
From the perspective of Mother Therapy, which is based on the Theory of Mimind and Xesmind, the most important factor that affects the child’s psychological development is
the mother. It is postulated that children will grow with healthy psychology when the mother has healthy psychology. Children who have mothers with distorted or wounded
psychology still have the chance to grow with healthy psychology when the mother tries and makes efforts to provide her children with the best support she can. The worse
cases of children’s psychological problems are found in children whose mother does not do her best in parenting but blames circumstances, the society, and other people.
Of course, circumstances and environments affect children’s acquisition of knowledge and formation of habits. Habits in the unconscious and memory are affected by
knowledge and experiences, and psychological perception and expression will reflect knowledge and experiences. However, mothers’ psychology and parenting have much
greater effects on children than circumstances and environments. Mothers’ parenting can be powerful enough to override the effects of all other variables.
Mother is the only person who children can psychologically connect with and take as the basis for forming standards for thoughts and feelings. Father is a parent, too, but
father’s role is more of the protector of the family rather than of psychological nurturing. Mother has much greater influence on children’s psychology. When mothers neglect
nurturing children from diverse reasons, children’s psychology are likely to develop problems.
When children build the ability to address their own psychological problems through mothers’ adequate parenting, they will be able to skilfully maneuver on their own through
different obstacles in their journey of life. All the obstacles may make them grow even stronger and taller. It is only mothers who can help children build habits of healing
psychological stress and wounds. From this perspective, blaming circumstances and the society guides neither mothers nor children in the right direction.
Also, relying on other people for solving children’s psychological problems is not recommended. They may do their best to help children, but they do not have the ability to
affect children as their own mothers do even if they want to. It is not to say that mothers must give up their own life and career to stay with their children all day everyday. It is
to say that only mother’s unconscious love combined with adequate parenting strategies can reach children’s mind and psychology for a real change. Children’s psychology is
affected not by circumstances or the society but by mothers’ parenting methods.
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